Asher: Dealing With A Young Scammer
And a cautionary tale concerning PayPal.
I posted this coat on Marketplace for my brother, as he is not online much and I could meet somebody in town if they were interested. This is the listing:
We met in the small lot and I immediately had second thoughts. There was something wrong. However, I ignored it and he asked about my PayPal ID and I said he needed to use Friends and Family (so that I was not charged the fee) and he nodded and asked if I was familiar with how PayPal worked and I said I was. He made the payment, we went back inside the building where I could check my email and saw that PayPal had sent a message that I had received $200. I thought that we were done and he took the coat and left.
I immediately texted my brother and said it was done, but I did feel there was something else going on.
The following is a screenshot of the time frame between the payment and the dispute. I did not see this till the next morning.
On PayPal, Asher stated the reason for the dispute:
Seriously. He said it was ‘in person’, he took the item, but at the same time it was not the condition it was said to be in AND the item was not received.
I responded with several uploaded files of our messages and the fact that Asher literally took the coat from my hands.
Two things to take away from this statement. 1), is that Asher is absolutely full of shit and a scammer and lied to PayPal, and 2) that even after those statements, PayPal will find in his favor. PayPal is a bullshit/crooked platform that nobody should use, even if you use Friends and Family, because they should not make money on any of us. Just a side rant.. I’m done now.
Oh, and one more thing. Just remember what Asher said in this dispute, because a little later, he is going to say something different.
Sidenote- while I do use colorful language when ranting/venting to my brother, I did not use it while addressing Asher.
That was a typo- should have said “Looking for his parents.”
Asher did tell me what school he attended, but at this time I either didn’t remember that he did, or didn’t remember what he said… and didn’t want to take the time to go find it, IF it existed. If you are trying to find an email for somebody, and think you know where they work, you can do a search for “what is the email format for X”. I’ve done simple searches such as this many times. I sent the same email to his school address and the email address he listed with PayPal.
On Sunday, Sept. 28, 2025, I called the police and filed a report. They took the information and decided this was theft and not a civil matter.
I updated my brother.
On Tuesday, Asher responded via email.
I didn’t see these emails till the next morning.
My response:
At this time, I thought Asher was honestly sorry for his actions. I thought the obvious solution was to just cancel the dispute but wanted it to be his idea. Please note that he did say he was sorry for his actions. No mention of any of this being a mistake. This is important later.
On Sept 30, 2025, PayPal emailed me to say Asher paid me $200 and then another email shortly after that to say it was on hold. The payment was still not friends and family, so it was another $6 in fees to PayPal, for Asher’s convenience.
On the backend in PayPal, they tell me the reason they sided with Asher was because I provided no tracking information… for our face-to-face transaction. The whole reason for doing face-to-face transactions is to be sure the item is delivered and what you expected.
I did not cancel or refund any transactions because everything was on hold and it seemed to me that he could just cancel his dispute for the first transaction and I would have just eaten the $6 loss and moved on, and then refunded the second transaction. Again, I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt at this time. As you may recall from all the messenger messages, he was strapped for cash. Always waiting for Friday (payday) and needing to buy groceries. He now has 2 payments with PayPal for $200 each.
However, when I was charged the $15 for his lie, I was rethinking his intentions. And quite honestly, I was just pissed off that this little shit was going to cost me even more.
Asher had already been informed of the police report, but his response to this email really supported my contention that he is not who he purports to be. At this time, I was just demanding the $21 he has cost me. $6 in the first fee and then $15 for the dispute fee.
I then sent Asher a screenshot of the email from PayPal stating they charged me $15 for his dispute. It was right around this time that I decided Asher was a scammer, he had been through this before, he knew what he just wrote was nonsense, he assumed I would just ‘cut my losses’ and move on.
And I was not going to do that.
My response to Asher:
From Asher
In the above email, Asher has admitted that he did not follow my instructions. He agrees he is responsible for the dispute fee, but not that $6 taken from the initial transaction and the second. Taken because PayPal always charges that fee if you do not use ‘friends and family.’
Asher asks why he has to follow my instructions. The answer is because I provided those instructions so that he could use PayPal, for HIS convenience, which HE asked to use. Why would I pay for his convenience? He agreed to that before he made the transaction. Why would you not use friends and family for an item you have accepted and have in your hands? These were my thoughts. Asher is still working his scam. He is saying things that seem reasonable except when combined with everything else he has said.
He followed that up almost immediately:
And I would have. I had had enough of this kids bullshit.
I texted my brother and let him know what was going on.
What we just decided, based on our new knowledge that PayPal allows disputes for up to 180 days AND they always find for the buyer no matter what absolute bullshit the buyer states, we now wanted the whole thing in cash.
Something to note from that email from me is that I was clear I would refund that transaction immediately. I stated this MANY times throughout our communication. The fact that he repeatedly argues that he does not want to wait weeks or months for his refund, just supports my contention that he is willfully ignoring what has been stated.
Just to clarify, the reason I wanted cash is because I learned that PayPal allows 180 days for a dispute. Considering my experience with Asher, I was not going to sit in limbo for 6 months.
Asher used PayPal to send me $15, after my telling him I would not accept another PayPal payment from him. AND… he still did not use ‘Friends and Family’ so I was charged another fee. I refunded it immediately. I was going to accept nothing less than $215 in cash in hand.
A couple things to keep in mind here, because I know he sounds sincere. Most scammers are quite good at this. Even going back and reading this myself, I think it sounds like I’m a bitch and he’s just a poor kid. You may need to get to the end and weigh everything he has said in order to understand the situation. Something else to remember is that he had $400 tied up with PayPal at one time. That first transaction was already refunded to him.
Notice again how I said I would refund it immediately. And notice again how he says that the only way he can give me cash is if I refund the transaction first. However, as we have already stated, he has already had one transaction refunded. Plus the $15 was refunded. So, he does have the $215.
This is something we have seen and will continue to see from Asher. He is either willfully ignorant or simply faking it. All of his arguments have been countered at least once, and some several times, and yet he asks the same question. This is a “Let’s wear them down” technique.
So, Asher is not willing to wait 2-3 weeks (again I said I would refund immediately, while he was standing right there), but making me wait is not an issue for him.
Just something to add here. Asher had said in the beginning, when he sort of apologized for screwing me, that he had only just then seen the email because he rarely checks that email. He sure seems to be checking quite often now, though. A little later, when he says that he had nothing to do with the canceling of the transaction and it was all PayPal and Chase, I had to wonder how he became aware of a “double charge” within 45 minutes of the meetup, on his way to class, and canceled the transaction and saying the reason was the item was not as described.
That… is not what I said. I said I would not refund it until I had the cash in hand to cover it. Asher is still just putting forth a story with no basis in fact. It makes no sense to pay again with PayPal when simply removing the dispute on the first payment was such an obvious solution.
“I’ve done all that you’ve asked,”?
He’s done NOTHING that I’ve asked. I wanted to be paid with Friends and Family and Asher agreed. And then he didn’t, and cost us $6. Then he lied to PayPal and disputed the transaction stating it was not as described. That cost me another $15 due to his dispute and refused to accept that was his responsibility. Then he finally agreed that he owed $15 and after I told him I would NOT accept another PayPal payment, he paid me through PayPal again, but still not through Friends and Family, so it still took a fee. As Asher did nothing as agreed, I was not going to give him an inch. It was my opinion that he was just playing a game.-“Wear em down… they’ll give up.”
And no… we are not just going to wait.
Asher continues to try to make this sound like it is something it is not. Pulling every card he can, in order. It’s sort of a script.
“I DIDN’T STOP THE TRANSACTION THAT WAS PAYPAL.”
So, first he apologized for doing it. Then he said it was because Chase said it was a double transaction. Now it is PayPal. However, when he disputed the charge, he told PayPal it was in person and item not as described. That is not a ‘oops.’ That is a plan. This is all just more bullshit and still trying to ‘wear me down.’
Playing more pitty cards that make no sense. This kid is helping his grandpa with hospital bills, but couldn’t buy the coat in the same week he bought gas?
Asher then submitted another dispute with PayPal.
Asher is again saying contradictory things. It’s the wrong size, but he’s gonna pay cash. I responded through PayPal that I would be suing Asher for the full amount.
In this message, Asher has again admitted to scamming me, and he makes an excellent point that I was going to sue him anyway. I texted my brother.
After the PayPal communication, and I refunded the transaction, I messaged Asher to make arrangements for the next Tuesday evening, when he would be back in town for class.
I checked the college schedule and the classes were, in fact, cancelled.
If Asher lost his job, it was because Asher is Asher.
I was aware that Asher said “drop this off” and not clarifying that it would be money. I fully expected him to continue to try to not pay. I asked a co-worker to go out to the parking lot with me, as I thought Asher would be less likely to be Asher with witnesses. My friend stood about 20 feet away and it was very clear he was there for me. I took video of the interaction I had with Asher. You can see Asher glancing at my friend occasionally. In my opinion, his presence kept Asher in check.
I took screenshots of the entire communication on the PayPal platform. I am not including them here because they provide too much personal information about the scammer. However, I did forward all of them to the investigator working on the case at the police department. Also, I will say that the information concerning Asher is not current. He lists an address in Texas, and his name is misspelled on the account.
Also, just to add that since I filed the police report I was provided some interesting information from a very reliable source and it was clear that I was not the first victim of Asher.
What to take away from this-
Even if your scammer sounds sincere, trust your gut. Do not give in. You got this.